We've had the Iron Lady, now step forward the man many Conservative right-wingers regard as the Tin Man. Baroness Thatcher's done her bit for William Hague; now it's the turn of another former prime minister, John Major.

It's only a couple of years since the Tories appeared to airbrush him from history at their 1999 party conference, but now it seems Thatcher is not the only one to whom Hague has turned for support.

The right-wingers who run the Conservative party these days are openly disparaging of the last prime minister, believing him to have been a weak leader responsible for the Conservatives' current plight. They also despise his vacillation over Europe. Now they've kissed and made up. Major is set to address a rally within the next week. One senior Conservative admitted that he appealed to a "rather different set of Conservatives" than those who idolised Thatcher.

It's probably too much to hope that Sir Edward Heath will be available to complete the triptych.

Lonely life of the star turn
Millionaire Tory turncoat Shaun Woodward is used to having a retinue. But life since becoming Labour's candidate in the safe Merseyside seat of St Helens South has proved somewhat lonelier. He's had to do without the butler, footmen and other creature comforts attached to the 17th century Oxfordshire mansion he shares with his wife, Sir Tim Sainsbury's daughter Camilla. But now it seems he's to be denied support from some of the Labour heavy-hitters he might have counted on. Aides to John Prescott have dashed local rumours that the deputy prime minister was planning to put in a celebrity appearance. Other Old Labour ministers who disapprove of the way Woodward was parachuted into St Helens are also tut-tutting. One said: "The selection was a disgrace. You won't catch me anywhere near the place." Still, there are consolations for Woodward. The £14m the MP could make if he felt like parting with his Oxford pad could buy around 400 terraced houses in St Helens.

Byers could do better
Would-be education secretary Stephen Byers - who once famously got a basic sum wrong on television - earned himself another black mark on Wednesday, when challenged to name a country where a single currency had not led to political union. He plumped for the US.

Private polls
William Hague says he's "not even interested" in the dismal findings of the opinion polls. Perhaps he should try telling that to Nick Sparrow, head of ICM, the polling company, who's paid a pretty penny by the Conservatives to do their private polls.

A Hampshire hangover
Obviously Labour's massive lead is of such little interest to the Tory leader that he felt confident enough to pose for pictures outside "The Victory" pub in the Hampshire village of Hamble. Perhaps Hague's forgotten John Major's visit to the same inn during his ill-fated 1997 campaign.

Getting in the party spirit
Away from the fury of the main campaign, there is a bitter battle afoot to find the most stupid party name. The Ronnie the Rhino party is up against the People in Slough Shunning Useless Politicians, or even the Black Haired Medium Build Caucasian Male. Offspin's current favourites are Miss Moneypenny's Glamourous One party and the Independently Beautiful party.

It was a good day for...
Eurosceptics, as the thing they hate most moved centre-stage in the election campaign.

It was a bad day for...
Alexander Lowden, the patient who was canvassed by Charles Kennedy as a tube was inserted from his groin into his heart, under local anaesthetic.